October 28, 2009
My kids are here to remind me of the angst of youth. The feeling of invincibility, the idealism of an optimist, and the hope of the future. I was accustom to thinking it was up to me to ground my kids….keep their head out of the clouds, shake reality into them. It is they that have done that with me. They dream of faraway travels and off they went. They dream of sky and scuba diving and they did it. I do not fund this extravagance. It is not that they are wealthy. They want it and so they go for it. They find a way to maneuver through foreign lands with foreign tongues. The have scary moments…but not scary lives. Scary to them would be not following their heart. Scary to them would be being untrue to themselves. Scary to them would be listening and following the crowd. Many scoffed. Many gave “sage” words of wisdom about jobs and responsibility and throwing away opportunity. Some were jealous, others curious, others petrified that at 19 they set out, alone, into the great big world. They were fully equipped with a brain, a mouth and a will and yet for many that was not enough.
I have lived through these kids of mine. Vicariously but not enviously. This is their journey. I have delighted in seeing them fly away only to return with stories, adventure and friendships. They have vicariously lived through me too. They have seen my delight in nurturing, my devotion to their physical and emotional needs and my love for learning and life. They have watched us navigate through scary foreign worlds of sickness, recession and relationships. They have observed me living to my calling. How could I expect them to not live to theirs?