This is the first week I have put the magnifying glass down. No 15 year old can stand the intense inspection of their life 24 hours a day. And yes, I admit there are times in the night when I would open her door just to hear the whistle of her breath in and out.
I am obviously a type A personality, which my children believe means "anal". This can be true. It also means that I get things done, I can be intense about a lot of things...including how the toilet paper is put on the holder, which towel is mine etc.. This also means that I am willing to do the work I see needing done instead of asking someone else. How else do you think my gardens got replanted, my walk got torn up, and more than 200 bricks got moved? I am the one that wants it done, so I am the one that does it.
This also means that 6 months I have been overwrought with Mik's care. It is 6 months tomorrow since her craniotomy. Wow. We are all ready to move on now. Ready for the high you get when you appreciate every day. Like today. It is sunny and gorgeous. There are reminders that the carefree days of summer are almost here. Trepidation has been replaced by hope, as she has had only one seizure in 11 days. 11 days when I forget every hour to ask where she is at. 11 days where I can let her be in her room because she has not felt "off" or nausea or an aura. I went out the other night for an hour with Ken alone, to buy a new bike for me....I am out tonight with some girlfriends...and again tomorrow night.....This almost sounds like too much....but I know that I am doing well when I can leave and be at peace to leave. And you know Mik is feeling a little more at peace when the beams of light aren't burning a hole in her skin with the magnifying glass.