Wednesday, August 18, 2010

For any that follow us regularly, you know the ups and downs of Mikee's medical issues. We are currently trying to figure out the down. Is it in anticipation of school? Is it stress/hormones/insomnia? I am almost confident that this is just another blip. Neurology will sort us out yet again...but will this mean a change in meds? Weaning on..weaning off....blood tests, levels, scans and EEG's. We were sure that was over now. We were moving forward..walking through that door to healing. Healed.

I refuse to let discouragement cloud us. Instead I expect that she will need further scrutiny. Fall is almost here and a new season. I am so ready to move to something new, but wonder if this is wise. To will a new beginning when we have not finished the chapter.

Tonight has been filled with drool and tears, heartache and fear. Neurology think it may be a reaction to Ativan, even though she has had it before. I waffle between bravery an despair.

She is waffling between feeling high and tears, nausea and confusion.

It is quiet now. I have written this over several hours. My heart pours into these words that I need to voice. I need to be heard amidst it all lest I numb myself in anxiety and torment.

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