Saturday, September 11, 2010

I Feel a Little Lame

We are full into fall today. The rain hasn't stopped and we are running for cover lest we rust. The first week was going great. She was overwhelmed with schedule changes as well as the number of people that were around her. On Friday, as I was listening far too loudly to the radio, I missed a call. Then I missed another. When I finally checked my phone and saw the school had called, not once, but twice, my heart fell. Then my Samee called and said Mr. Nill had called. Mr. Nill is the Principal of discipline at the school. I have had to talk to him more than once for other kids. I was confused still. Finally, I catch up to him, somewhat thinking that maybe my sweet Mik has been naughty. I highly doubt that, for even if she tried no one would believe she actually was. That is just the kind of kid she is. That is why she was apologizing when she would finish a seizure, as though she had not prevented it from happening. Of course, I realize there has probably been an "incident" at school. He confirmed this, and that things were under control. I then have the teacher calling me. He explained that her friend escorted her from the class after she exhibited unusual behavior. He had others follow and was quick to get his first aid kit.

I immediately feel guilty that I have not filled the school in on all that has been happening. Some have known through private conversations, but most had just assumed that she went elsewhere last year. I try to synopsize everything and ask the teacher to share it with the staff. They know what to do, and when to call me. They know that she will want to return to normal as soon as possible, but that she will need to rest. They know that she and others may find this difficult. They are okay with that. So, now I have to be too. I have to know that it might not always be ideal. She may make people uncomfortable, and she may be herself. She may be whispered about. She may be vulnerable...but most of all, I count her as brave and courageous. She will not be defined by any condition, she will not be defined by her seizures as much as she does not want to be defined as being the baby of the family, or by any label that will constrict her growth. And so, I have to be comfortable with the unknown once again ... and keep up the journey.

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