Sunday, November 11, 2012

Dreams

I have been having bad dreams of late..the kind that wake you - and others. Perhaps anxiety filled...perhaps a result of the coming adventure. Mik will embark on a journey alone.....Overseas to the land of Oz. An almost 18 hour flight solo...no protection but her dreads. I was not helped by the well-meaning comment to inquire about the blood clot the size of loon that still sits on the right side of the brain. I was not assuaged that she is confident - I know that now because the dreams that plague me seem to reveal the precarious emotional state that I feel placed in. To release her and yet want to still protect her. I am the mother-bird. The one that wants to push them from the nest and yet quickly soar beneath just in case the wings are not ready for the rush of wind. Can you fault me? Really? My life has been wrapped up in her protection. From a premature baby less than 4 pounds...and then to a brittle asthmatic...we moved valiantly to stages that felt normal until the world seem to stop for her and I. Her life was always balanced precariously with health. Struggling to survive, breathe and ultimately to live. I release her now, trying ever so hard to warn her of the perils of naivete as she ventures to Cairns and Byron Bay. I sense she is not as afraid of people as she is the fragility that her humanity has thrust upon her.

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